I realized that this was not an ordinary kind of love. This is when I started to look for answers as to why I was feeling this way.
2 months into awakening, I started learning about Twin Flames.
I blocked him on social media and he blocked me on WhatsApp – No hard feelings – I initiated all this without even knowing what I was doing or what was happening to me. But it felt good to have some breathing room to think the process through to find out what was happening to me!
I resisted this thing called twin flames or twin souls for a while but my search for answers has continuously brought me to it! This experience is definitely Soul Cleansing and It takes Courage and endless Love to stay grounded in this strong connection. It is beautiful and overwhelming at the same time!
We didn’t have a perfect marriage but I knew I could settle but our last 3 years were rough coupled with our work situation as we have a business together. Our Stress increased big time and slowly he began “Falling back” into himself. Somehow he started giving up on himself and Life. All he could do was eat, read news, watch tv and sleep. Experiencing all this, I had no idea that It looked like this. For me, I wasn’t gonna give up on him and I started to compensate everything to accommodate his passiveness, Laziness, Responses to Life, emotions and how he Loved Me. So I became the wife married to a husband who treats himself as a child.
This whole responsibility wore me down to the bone. On top of this, he naturally grew up as “trust fund” baby and I met him at a stage in his life where Life was becoming real and the Trust Fund had dwindled. How to Surrender to Self-Love: Self-Help Guide
He blames so many people for his weak positions in Life. I tried to leave several times but somehow he could become real for a moment and I see him for the genuine person that he is and I get excited and stay! He confessed to me recently that he Gave up on me and our Marriage because the thought of losing money was killing him.
While all this is happening, I started doing some self help work in search for answers why I felt stuck with my husband and I felt more Sympathetic towards him than feel Love. I picked up a book; self help stuff – Fell into some Psychology TED Talks, Jumped into FlipBoard and Started Reading about Positivity and Building an Immunity to Emotional Vampires blah blah.
Anyways, fast forward – This whole self help stuff brought to me to a personal awakening slowly and I started realising things about myself , Life and my husband. We started having long Chats as if we were a Shrink and Patient. I started digging into his view of the world so if to understand him. As I did this, no matter how difficult it was, I was learning more about myself.
I went to visit his friends back home as we Come from 2 different Continents. Still I was the one doing The planning and I was so frustrated that I came back home half way through our vacation. He was insensitive to everything. Like he was Numb and Apathetic and he was just Complaining about how his Money was Dwindling so fast. Everything became about Money.
On the way back home, we ran into some of his friends that I had never met five years since.
The next summer after that our marriage was in rough shape. We were both angry and stressed but we were holding on like crazy. We were so weak and insecure to look at the truth. Out of no where, his friend that I missed seeing just wanted a break from his normal life and visiting us was his first choice. Things were not going well for him either and he had broken up with his girlfriend but we had no idea!!!! We thought he was visiting with her but came alone. And he was so Sure that he was NOT gonna last more than 10 days In a “3rd world” Country so he packed really Light. He had Very Very Low Expectations – He didn’t even Make Plans. He just wanted to go with the Flow.
Long story short, we took him to dinner and shared half of my food with him, and we MERGED into Each other from there on! Partied, Laughed, Learned Shared Stories, Affirmed and Accepted Each other without Kissing or Being Intimate. Our most Intimate moment was that one hug that washed away all my Pain! We Couldn’t stay away from Each other! Like a Brother, Protector, Mother, Father, Angel everything in One Person! Our Eyes Locked all the Time and his Sincerity and Honesty left me Feeling so Blessed to know such a person.
After Experiencing this, my Emotions, Soul, Everything in me knew that I was Lost with my Husband. I did not know who I was anymore and I needed to Find a way to go back to the Real me who has joy and can find Love in everything.
I Broke off our Marriage on my own without any stress but with good intentions for all of us. I had this Courage that I never had before! I was amazed. It was a friendly Chat both Reviewing our Errors and Finding a way forward together.
Anyways when my TF left, I had my other whole awakening – Express Style! I texted him and told him how scared and overwhelmed I was with all that was going on me and we both decided not to talk to each other which drove me into a DARK moment of Shedding all that was False about me and my Life big Time!
It’s been a Year now and I know that I just Healed. On my own, at my Pace and I’m embracing this Wonderful pure light in my Heart that’s grows everyday. I want to See Him Again so Badly and I want to be the Best and Most Authentic Version of Myself when I do!
This Encourages me to Keep my Self Work going. Here are some tips to increase on your Self-Love:
– I will share an article about dealing with Separation or divorce from a karmic partner as a twin flame –
Stay in Love! ❤️