I’m sorry that you feel this way. For someone who initiated a “no contact” phase – I’m wondering if I left my Twin feeling as frustrated as you feel. I hurt them I know by doing that but I can give you a new perspective maybe it’s how your Twin is feeling.
By then, I had no idea that this was all the twin flame stuff. When he left to go back to his “home”, (2 Different continents) I was Shocked! The Space, Nothing could fill it but HIM!!! It was so antagonising.
On top of this, it’s Like He had initiated something in me that I could not Control. This is what people call Awakening. My Soul was AWAKE and it Wanted all this PURGE – Like a Craving to CLEAN itself – So Strong, Annoying, and Irresistible and Continous. It was RAW and Left me Feeling Vulnerable. Every time I tried to Push it away or Pretend it didn’t exist, the More PAIN I experienced. My God! I had 2 Options either to Hide from it or Give in! Both very Hard Choices in that Moment.
I was broke, Work Sucked, my Marriage was on the Rocks, My Employees were Misbehaving and Stealing from me. And I had Expanded too Quickly to have 2 businesses 2 hours apart! Then I got an accident and Hurt my Eye. Life was totally UPSIDE Down for me!!!
So one night I got drunk and I started FEELING him. Like our Connection was so Clear that I got overwhelmed and Texted Him right away! I was so scared and PISSED off at the same Time because I missed him so and I couldn’t control the Intensity of the Longing! I sent him sort of an Angry Text not at Him but at Myself (Don’t Know how it sounded to Him) how I was Overwhelmed by my feelings.
I suggested to Disappear and Cut the Connection! He responded with maybe it’s a good Idea! What!!!! This drove me into more – Soul Shock! – I thought instantly that he was Mad at me and Did not feel about Me the way I Remember. I thought that it was all in my Head! I was experiencing what people call – Soul Shock –
Long Story Short. We both went Quiet. 8 months but this period went from my Life Feeling Like it was Upside to Me starting to Appreciate and Being Grateful for Everything I had. I Accepted that I had hit Rock Bottom and the Only way to go was Up! I started picking myself up bit by bit. But still some days were Terrible, others Neutral, Others I could feel extreme Bliss and Happiness and the next day I felt low.
The thing to Note about “Energy Merge” it’s REAL!!! You can not Miss it! For Me it was Terrible Physically. Sometimes when He was “connected “ to me like – LIVE STREAMING- I could not hold the Energy. Always I threw Up!!!! Always!!!! I was not sick or anything. And then the PHYSICAL – Double Heartbeat- I could feel Him and these lasted between 30 Minutes to 1 hour or MORE! I could feel weak and then better. On normal days, I was totally “Love Sick”. So REAL!
The Lingering Longing Both From Him and I always Existed. Until I realised and Learned that I needed to “balance” our Energy thanks to me Research and Reading. All I had to do was ACCEPT that I LOVE Him and that I DESERVE his Love. This was a whole other Process to get some Results! Included accepting myself, accept My Own Love for Myself. Forgiveness for everything and everyone, Physical Fitness, Emotional Immunity, Fix my marriage issues etc.
2 Months Ago, I could not Sleep because I started feeling and seeing Life as He does somehow. Our Connection had sort of Graduated to Constant Light and Bliss. Instead, I picked up my Phone on a new number, texted him and apologised for Hurting Him. I also mentioned briefly my new Journey with self work blah blah. He didn’t say anything back but Sent me a Reply through Someone else. Because He is Like Me! Haha
Since the Day I Apologised, I’m not Talking to Him but Life has Turned our for the BEST! All my Problems and Challenges did not Magically disappear but I have managed to GROW a Muscle to Solve my Problems one by one with Gratitude, Faith, Trust and Acceptance. The more I do this, the Love and Bliss in Me Sort If Grows in “QUALITY” and I can feel him more with Constant Joy and Bliss. But I have to Keep in the Moment, stay Positive and Believe that I’m special and I feel something that not normally everybody does. Sort of Accepting that I’m Naturally “WEIRD” and Different and Beautiful haha.
I have no idea what’s next for us or me but I have this new Perspective towards Life and I feel Like there is something so much better I can do with the New Me! Something better than what I have been doing all along in Life. I guess if I Meet Him again, We can both Figure out our new “MISSION”. 1 Year it’s been and I stopped “waiting” – But Looking Forward to seeing Him again!
Stay Blessed and in Love!
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