Self-control is a positive energy that grounds you in Surrender. When a Twin Flame gets stressed out from receiving the cold shoulder from their partner, they rest their case.
Then you choose to do it for your peace to let go and let your Twin Flame be.
From my experiences, chasing is rooted in fear of rejection, fear of being alone, fear of abandonment, etc and once you face these fears as a chaser, it is when you choose to fully Surrender.
Surrender comes to you effortlessly, and you feel the inner harmony once it settles in. You start having revelations as to why and how things happened the way they did.
You also start to realize that you and your Twin Flame are the same. The shock of meeting your Twin Flame and then separate leaves you wondering if anything is real at all. You sometimes doubt if anybody like your Twin Flame exists. You wonder if it is all in your head.
I hope that my experience helps you.