I was also lost in this pain of separation for almost a year, and one lesson I learned that no matter how intense and prolonged the pain is, you will feel better at the end of shedding your pain. It is just a phase because it is shocking being surprised by their instant disconnection from your Twin Flame once you are physically separated. You will get over this.
Once I went through the acceptance stage of working with my soul growth, I acknowledged my pain, and I started to find ways to enjoy my life without the neediness of attachment to my Twin Flame.
All that fear that brought pain in my life dissolved, and I started to grow an emotional muscle to stay grounded in my inner power and energy. I was finally free from my insecurities, and this brought me peace and happiness. You need to experience this pain that you are feeling for it to be healed and cleansed out of you. No one can help you with this, not even the Twin Flame that you share a soul with. This is a process of purifying your soul.
I could not believe that he did not want to talk to me; the one person who I thought that finally understood me completely is the same one who was distancing himself from me. I was in total shock for almost an hour just wondering how to absorb the rejection. I have been rejected many times in the past in different ways in my existence but this was different. In most cases, if someone ignored me like this, I would just ignore that person back and distance myself from them.
Once the shock of rejection wore off, I started panicking and wondering if I had done anything wrong to make my Twin Flame to distance himself from me. There was not any particular reason for him to treat me that way after almost a month of merging and connecting when were together.
I could not deny the underlying feelings and how he and I connected deep in my soul. So, what I did was to apologize for making him respond that way to me. I was just feeling guilty for expressing my true feeling yet he rejected me. What confused me more was how I am never angry when he rejected me, I just got more curious as to why he was behaving this way.
We have unconditional love and we do not need to prove that to anybody, we both know it is an authentic connection, and this is why I was so confused as to why all this chaos was happening.
I was very frustrated by the way he seemed calm, he said that he missed me but for me, it was more than missing him. I was feeling an intense uncontrollable love pulling towards him and meeting him sparked chaotic emotions. I felt infuriated because I could not control how I feel yet I was also going through life challenging situations.
The timing with my Twin Flame felt right in the soul but wrong physically because I was still married to his friend.
I wrote to him a very strange letter in brief saying; “I love you but stay away from me.”
I felt relieved the next day after I tried to block him out of my life. I was happy that I could go back to how life was before I met him but I felt more attached to him.
Cutting him off felt like I was isolating myself from everyone. I felt alone and more lonely. I started to wonder if blocking him was too soon — I wondered if I had made a huge mistake.
I panicked and started calling and texting to make things right but the damage was already done.
The guilt ate me up for over a year until I had a breakthrough.
One night, instead of apologizing to him, I wrote to him over 6 pages explaining the incidences and the spiritual awakening that I went through after we separated.
One night out the blue, he wrote me a text message saying; “Thank you for being you!”
After healing myself, I knew that I had to reach out to him to fix our relationship. It took a series of messages but I got a breakthrough eventually.