I was initially the runner Twin Flame. It also took me a while to acknowledge this fact because I was in so much denial of everything. I was scared, overwhelmed, and overpowered by the feelings that the intense connection brings. I told him about my fears and insecurities but I instead blamed him for making me feel that way. This was 4 years ago.
Even though I ran from him — I blocked him and told him to stay away from me! I was so scared of my own hunger for love.
As time passed, I learned that even though I try to block him out of my life, I know the truth — that I will always feel connected to him. I knew that even though I run away from him, I cannot escape the love feelings for him that Bree within me.
Years down the road, I went through accelerated love lessons ever since we separated. I haven’t had a break from feeling the connection or thinking of him.
My Surrender happened when I accepted that it is natural to feel unconditionally loved by him. He scares me off with his authenticity— I was afraid of losing him as well.
I later learned that all these fears were either self-created or I had inner issues to confront or both.
Life has moved me closer to him — I’m in his hometown which is still unreal to me. Events happened so fast — the Universe is trying to make the reunion happen faster than I assumed.
I cannot believe that soon or later, I will be running into him.
I still feel nervous and overwhelmed thinking of looking into his eyes again. I will come undone. Sometimes I think that hugging him will break me down into pieces.
I stopped worrying about our reunion because I realized that the universe wants it more than I do — at the same time, I wonder if I need more time to get ready for the reunion.
I wonder if it is a good idea to see him again. I feel like I managed to find happiness without him over the past 4 years and seeing him will undo all my healing.
If you are Twin Flame newbie going through separation right now, I advise you to focus on preparing yourself because whether you like it or not, a reunion will happen if it is meant to be.
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