When your Twin Flame blocks you, you become manic. You feel helpless. You go through a deep blue funk phase. You feel the grief of losing a Twin Flame. You feel like you are missing a limb.
When a Twin Flame ignores you, you feel like you are stuck in a dark tunnel. You have no idea how to get yourself out of the depression. You feel emotional pain. You feel physical pains. You are psychologically challenged. Every step of the depression phase is unbearable and traumatizing.
The depression phase is the most dreaded because you miss your Twin Flame all the time. You feel energetically tethered to each other. You feel the energetic merging whether you are awake or asleep.
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While going through the depression phase, I was also experiencing the night of the soul. I lost the taste for food. This was the loneliest time for me as a Twin Flame. I was very confused about why his silence triggered me into a Spiritual Awakening. Every time I reached out to him and he ignored me, I was quickly thrown into another phase of Soul-searching.
His silence triggered unexplainable fears; I was afraid of losing him. I was desperate for his affirmation that he felt the same way. I learned that I had to face my fears. I had to find the root cause of the pain that I felt.
The first time I attempted Surrender, I wrote a six-page letter to him. I explained to him all the stress I went through every time he ignored my messages or calls. I told him how grateful I am for meeting him.
When I told him the details of my experiences, I was hoping that at some point in the Twin Flame journey, he would understand that our encounter was not coincidental. I also knew that whether my Twin Flame acknowledged our connection or not, he would resonate with some of my experiences.
At the beginning of the depression phase, I was pretty hostile toward him. Some of my chasing behaviors seemed obsessive. There are days when I felt anger and frustration — I became mean towards him. Those are the moments when I regretted meeting him. I felt cursed with love.
When I learned to embrace my experiences with an open heart, I realized that all the pain that I was feeling was buried within me. It had nothing to do with my Twin Flame. I repressed parts of myself that I did not want to face.
I grew the inner strength to face my pain. I went through a series of energetic cleanses; I was also healing my core wounding.
Halfway through my healing phase, I wrote another letter to my Twin Flame asking for forgiveness for my hostility towards him when I was depressed. I also told him that I always appreciate him. Every time he ignored me, I grew the inner strength to face my pain.
I also told him how I rediscovered the authentic version of myself by learning to embrace self-love. I also thanked him for inspiring me to get to know myself.