I was lost. I was losing sight of the meaning of life and I was just existing instead of living my life.
When I was younger, I assumed that life becomes easier because you become wiser as you grow up but it was not the case for me. I was plateauing.
In my late twenties, I started to question what my life is all about. I wanted to understand more about how I can make myself feel happier and have a life of meaning.
On the outside, I was faking everything; from my friends, marriage, daily routines, work, etc and I was doing great at it. I was so good at pleasing people, and attending to everyone’s needs, and calling because this made me feel wanted.
I had this fear in me of dying alone, fear of not being good enough, fear of love, fear of confrontation, fear of connecting with other people, fear of not looking good enough. Just so much Fear.
These small fears had accumulated for so long that I was constantly living in a fearful mode, which affected my life choices. Away from people, I was so lonely on the inside. Life was meaningless and I was just floating in helplessness and anxiety.
In my early 30’s ….
I missed feeling connected to my Inner Child or Inner Self. I missed my True Authentic Self and I had no idea how to go back to being Me.
The gift that I have received from this journey is that after two years of emotional confusion and purging of my pain and fears, I am so grounded in my true authentic self. The freedom and happiness that I feel in my soul are from within me. It is imminent and I feel better every day. Happiness has become part of my natural state.
When I met my Twin, I saw him in everything that I am always yearning to become. The true authentic self. I kept thanking him for being nice to me and for being Authentic.
Once I met him, my confidence just grew automatically. I was challenged to appreciate his love by accepting myself first. Now, I feel complete and whole in our connection.
When we physically separated, I have been working towards becoming completely grounded in my natural energy. I feel complete, happy and in total peace and harmony even without seeing him for two years.
I am unconditionally in love with myself.
It is the most beautiful amazing feeling ever!